How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
