she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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