i may or may not be watching the land before time
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
