Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
