you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Never joke about your clitoris.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
