I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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