can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
