You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
