Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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