That reminds me...we need to get swords
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
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They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
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Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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