Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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