I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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