He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
