Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
