Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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