Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
