kristin has been a bad kristin
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
