Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Randomize
