what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
