A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
