who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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