You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
