Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Randomize
