It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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