the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
