Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
