The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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