I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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