hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
