I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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