Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
