So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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