I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
