sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
