At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
