how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
