Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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