what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
