OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
