I'm going to rape someone's good day.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
