My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
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fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
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I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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