i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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