I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
