And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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