Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Randomize
