if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
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