Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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