Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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