Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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