found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
