zippers are such a cool invention
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
