So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I wish i was in the wii world.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Randomize
