The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
