Your face is a jimmy john
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
