very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
