To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
