Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
the liver wants what the liver wants
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
