Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
