Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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