just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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