Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
