I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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