im about as happy as oj after his trial
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
